


What You've Become

by BeesKnees



Category: Thor (2011)
Genre: Community: norsekink, M/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-04
Updated: 2011-12-04
Packaged: 2017-10-26 21:04:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/287891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeesKnees/pseuds/BeesKnees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki travels through time as a teenager and meets up with Thor; post-movie.</p><p>Written for norsekink.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What You've Become

He knows, technically, this is not his brother. But he also can’t help but think that, like this, he has also never been more his brother. This is Loki in the way that Thor always remember him, the ghost of a memory that Thor always chases after. And here he is, in corporeal form, staring at Thor as though he’s gone insane, but there’s also a touch of wariness that Thor hasn’t seen in a long time. It’s not distrust—which he knows all too well. It’s just a simple touch of uncertainty and Thor finds it to be beautiful.

Loki looks to be little more than a child; that’s not exactly true—he’s balanced perfectly in the cusp between child and adult, his limbs seeming even more lanky than before. He’s dressed in clothes that Thor remembers all too fondly. Not his formal regalia, but a simple green tunic and a pair of black leggings. His hair is dark although not as smooth as Thor has come to know it.

He’s standing in the doorway of the Avengers mansion and Thor knows that Loki has to have figured this all out before he did. For Thor first expects this to be some kind of trick. He thinks that this can’t be real and that Loki must be exploiting the greatest weakness he has. But Loki says his name again, peers inside the house. Thor is grateful that no one else is nearby, because he knows they would overreact. They have always seen Loki as a villain and Thor can’t bring himself to try and explain what Loki really is. For Loki really is _this_.

“Come in,” Thor says, his voice thick. He takes a step back and Loki takes a step forward. He looks everywhere all at once, his keen eyes roaming about the house.

“We’re on Midgard, aren’t we?” Loki says. He says it as if he doesn’t really expect an answer, as if he’s simply affirming what he already knows. “And you’re from my future.” And he says it, his green eyes focus entirely on Thor. There’s a strange curiosity to his gaze that Thor finds he craves. It’s been a long time since Loki has looked at him like that. Loki studies him for a moment and takes half a step closer to him, filling up the place that existed between them. He lets one thin hand rest against Thor’s chest; Thor can feel the heat of Loki’s skin through the thin fabric of his shirt—so strange, he can pause to think, because he always remembers Loki’s skin as being cold until he’s had the opportunity to touch it, to warm it however he wishes.

He wants to catch Loki’s hand with his own, but the touch is short and fleeting. He raises the hand up and lets his fingertips brush against the bottom of Thor’s hair. It’s longer than he has probably ever seen before; Loki’s sharp smile curls at the edge of his lips, but it is without malice and Thor longs to gather him up and pull him close. He thinks that if he can only catch Loki he can keep him like this for forever.

“I like your hair like this,” Loki says intently, before pulling away. He walks through the house with an easy gait, as if he already owns the place. He studies the pieces of whatever technology Tony has left on the kitchen table. He plays with the television, opens the refrigerator, stares at the pictures that line the wall. He sits down on the couch as if it is a throne and looks back over at Thor who is still standing near the open doorway.

“Why are we on Midgard?” Loki asks; Thor can hear the assumption in the question—they are together. This is something of another adventure that they, and perhaps Sif and the Warriors Three have explored together. Thor’s mouth goes dry.

He finds that he’s intimidated by this ghost of Loki. He wants him so badly, but he finds that he’s scared of him because he doesn’t know how to explain the future to him. And surely—if this had happened then Loki would know what becomes of the future and wouldn’t that make him fight against becoming what he is all the more? Thor’s head aches with the implications of Loki’s presence, but he has always known that he doesn’t understand the half of his brother’s magic. It’s always been far more complicated than he could gather. And he certainly wouldn’t put it beyond Loki to have never told him about this.

“Thor?” Loki says again. “You haven’t said anything.” Thor realizes that it’s true. It’s merely stared, dumbfounded, since the moment he opened the door and found him on the doorstep. The only words he’s spoken were the invitation to come inside.

“I live here,” Thor manages to say. His voice is not his own.

“You live here?” Loki asks with a scoff. “What do Mother and Father say?”

“I protect the realms from here,” Thor responds. He finally closes the door and crosses the room to simply stand beside Loki. Loki looks up at him, and Thor wonders if the question is lingering in his mind— _Where am I then?_

“Loki,” Thor murmurs, and he reaches forward because he can’t not. He lets his fingertips smooth back a few wayward strands of Loki’s black hair. Loki doesn’t flinch away from his touch. Perhaps he would if they were in public. But as they are, Loki has always allowed him these small things.

Loki looks up at him a moment longer and he can see the instant the understanding crosses into his brother’s eyes. His expression never changes and Thor is absolutely certain that no one else would be able to read the difference in Loki. But Thor knows his brother and this is the version he knows best of all. He’s not closed off and frozen by hate.

Thor wants to tell him he’s sorry. He wants to say that he regrets that it’s come to this, that, out of everyone, he couldn’t save Loki when he he was the one who counted the most. He wants to say he’s sorry for whatever he did that was wrong and for why ever Loki can’t bear to call him brother anymore. But he has tried to apologize for that before and he can’t bear the idea of failing again. His lips part, but no words come out.

It’s something of a relief when Loki arches up against him. He presses his mouth to Thor’s and he even tastes young. His kiss is everything that Thor remembers and somehow less experienced. His tongue is nimble as ever and slips out to brush against Thor’s lower lip.

Thor knows he shouldn’t. He owes Loki something more than this, but it was Loki who started it in the first place. His age is of little consequence because it’s abundantly obvious that, whenever Loki is from, they’ve already become lovers. They had easily tumbled into each other when they were younger and that was perhaps why Thor had found it so difficult to suddenly realize that he didn’t know his brother well at all. While he was self-assured that he could read Loki and see into the truth of him, he learned to wear different masks.

But this feels real. And Thor tries to tell himself that it’s no lie; it’s hard to tell Loki what he becomes, but it’s also been hard for him to have been denied his brother’s companionship when they’d been together for so long.

He grabs at Loki’s slim hips and pushes him further down against the couch. He feels like he can’t touch enough of him. His fingers push up the tunic so that it’s rucked up around Loki’s chest. Thor pulls back just for a moment to stare at the pale flesh beneath him. Loki trembles for just a moment and there’s a light flush that graces the top of his sharp cheekbones. Another reminder that he’s younger than Thor is used to. He can see now—can see that these masks are not nearly so well-placed.

Loki licks at his lower lip, seems to try and regain himself, but Thor runs one broad hand up Loki’s chest, stopping only to thumb at a nipple. He moves over it time and time again until Loki lets out a heavy breath, the skin peaking beneath Thor’s hand. Loki tries to grab at his wrist, as if to push him away, but Thor deftly shifts their hands so that he can pin Loki’s hand against the couch. He leans in and steals another kiss from Loki, ravaging his mouth in exactly the way he knows will bring Loki undone.

He applies too much teeth, biting roughly at his brother’s mouth and sucking at his lower lip until he hears Loki gasping for breath. It’s a beautiful turn to have the upper hand on his brother for once. He pulls away just to watch Loki and he can’t help but smile. He sees the faintest traces of a scowl form on Loki’s face, lines that tug down around the corner of his mouth. Before it can fully form Thor purposefully grinds his hips downward.

Loki pushes up against hims instantly. His lower back bows forward and his eyes shut. His teeth find his lower lip and he lets out the most delicious note Thor has ever heard in the back of his throat. Thor lets his mouth fall down a little farther. He licks a long stripe along Loki’s throat, remembering how beautifully his brother bruised. He begins to bite and to suck, watching as the skin turns red, wanting to know, in some way, that his brother can’t escape him.

He continues to push his hips down. He’s wearing a pair of jeans and the fabric feels strange, too tight and heavy, especially in contrast to Loki’s light leggings, but he can’t be bothered to care. His erection is pushed flush against the zipper and he can feel Loki underneath him, achingly hard as well. Every time he pushes down, Loki lets out a light gasping noise and Thor can feel it in his chest.

He would love to be able to touch more of Loki, to take him in hand, or thrust inside of him, but he already knows that he’s going to be too impatient for that. His hands roam down Loki’s sides, grab at hips again. His fingers push down the leggings without actually taking them off so that he can cup the swell of Loki’s ass. He pushes against his brother time and time again, bites at his throat and licks at the line of his collarbone.

“I wished you’d come back to me,” he breathes into Loki’s ear. He doesn’t know if Loki hears him because at the same time his brother lets out a keening noise and comes, his hips snapping upward. Thor can feel the warmth of it through the fabric; feeling his brother come undone is all he needs. He comes as well with a low groan. He holds Loki tight to him, buries his face in his shoulder and breathes him in. He knows this; he misses this. It wasn’t until Loki showed up on his doorstep did he realize how much he had forgotten about how much he needed it. He fools himself every day by pretending that he can get through life with the just being an Avenger. But there is a part of himself that is missing.

He knows he should move, that Loki can’t possibly be comfortable, but he can’t bring himself too. He feels Loki shift beneath him. One slim hand comes to rest on his shoulder and he thinks that Loki is about to press him away.

Instead he hears Loki murmur a quiet “Oh,” and then he is gone. He simply disappears from the couch, leaving Thor by himself. Thor can only assume that he’s gone back to whenever he’s supposed to be from, back to their past, and the relative safety that Asgard has to offer.

The next time he sees Loki standing across from him on a battlefield, he likes to think that Loki looks at him a little longer than usual, that there is some shared moment of understanding. He likes to think that maybe this Loki remembers taking a trip through time and remembers a stolen and misunderstood moment. But the look is gone a second later and Thor finds himself dodging a well-aimed spell; instead, he finds himself remembering that he can’t read his brother’s masks nearly so well anymore.


End file.
